I have been wanting to do this list for a long time, but I'm just now getting to it. Here's the list for reference. Due to time issues, imma just copy pasta the ones that apply to me~. FEEL FREE TO SEE HOW SERBIAN YOU ARE.

Your mom uses lard instead of Crisco to fry eggs. (RIGHT OFF THE BAT.)

Baba chased you around the house with Kamilica to drink and Vicks toshove up your nose when you had a cold.

You get a C in history, but can recite every Serbian king, in order,from Czar Dusan. (Trufax, btw)

Your dad never told you about the birds and the bees. (YOU ARE EXPECTED TO KNOW THIS.)

All slave have the same cuisine "supa, sarma, Pecenje".

All weddings have the same cuisine "supa, sarma, Pecenje".

All christenings have the cuisine "supa, sarma, Pecenje".

A Serb girl tries to look 23 but she's actually 15.

At least one of your friends name is "Dragan". (NOT FRIEND, PERHAPS---)

You can derive "Steve" from "Nenad".

You can derive "David" from "Zeljko".

You can derive "Mark" from "Mirko".

Your father expects you to study or "hit da books" every waking hour that he's home, and he expects nothing less than an "A".

You own a leather jacket.

There is a 120-gallon barrel of wine beer and Cabbage in your garage.

Your dad wears black socks to work everyday.

Both your parents had to walk to school barefoot in the snow, 5km uphill both ways. And over rocks.

Your dad starts to swear obsessively whenever he watches CNN.

Your last name ends with a CH

You have black hair and brown eyes

When you are reading this list and you're cracking up

When you make jokes based on your own tragedy

You don't want to have or do any business with Serbs. (/SOB)

If you are female, you first name ends in "A"

You eat canned peppers and ajvar with every meal (My Dad, mostly)

Your mom tells you not to sit on concrete or your ovaries are going to freeze

On your birthday, your parents make you take a picture cutting the cake with a huge knife.

At your birthdays everyone is singing "Happy brzday tu u"

When the head of a pig with an apple in its mouth is looked upon as a delicacy

When your baba will not accept the fact that you're not hungry

You teach all your American friends Serbian cuss words (HI GUYS./shot)

Your parents pronounce three, thirteen and thirty three as tri, tirteen, and tirty tree.

You have a freezer that is loaded with meat products, especially pork.

When you're an adult and still recieve Easter chocolate (.../noms)

Whenever you kiss somebody, you kiss them 3 times.

You know you are a Serb when you can hear your parents talking, and you are across the street.

All other action stops when you hear the music : "Boze Pravde", "Kad sam bio mali", or "Marsirala"


...AND I'LL STOP HERE, IT GOES ON FOREVER.

/killed

Canned pepper and ajvar with EVERY meal?

Why I do believe our tatas would get along more than well B|

Andgoodgawdwhydosomanyoftheseapplyonmyend;

-You must wear papucas (slippers) at all times so you don't catch cold
-You know your Serbian when your parents....relatives...... and most of all Grandparents incourage you to drink.... and if you back away they make fun of you.
-Deda drinks rakija to "clear his throat" in the morning {both of my didas did this :B]
-Your relatives are constantly trying to hook you up with some Balkan person they know {All. The. Time.}
-Salata is eaten with the meal, not before
-Mama knocks on wood when saying "Hvala Bogu"
-Tata and brat drive 75 mph with one finger on the wheel and no seat belt while smoking and telling a story {My tata drives faster than this B| }
-You tell Americans where you are from and you end up explaining the entire history of Yugoslavia
-Not only do you eat bread with every meal, but then you use the left-over bread to wipe your plate clean
-When people at weddings shout like mad people
-Your baba and deda are born in Croatia {HURR HURR, NO SHIT SHERLOCK /KILLED}
-When you have a stomach ache and your mom says "Skupi se"
-There are enough canned goods in your Baba and Djedos cellar to stay underground through the next millennium
-You believe drinking the juice from the kupus barrel is as good as a flu shot. {Mama always tells me this. Always}
-When your tata, ujko, stric, tetak, or deda cross their legs like a woman
-You know you're a Serb when your parents yell "kakva je ta skola" when you cannot complete their tax returns while you're in the third grade {They will forver complain about Canadian schools. FOREVER”
-You are named after your ujko, stric, tata or deda {The only one of us three kids who isn’t named after a relative is my sister P: }
-When you call Santa "Deda Mraze" {It’s ‘Dida Mraz’ for me}
-When you put ground potatoes in your socks to cure a fever {They used to cut up potatoes and wrap them to me whenever I had a really bad fever}
- When she is mad your mama tells you that she will send you back to where you came from
-Baba says "palachinki" and everyone heads for the table
-You have a good husband if he works and doesn't beat you {FUUUUUUUUUUUU, thisistrue}
-When your Deda always says "Dodji Dedi"
-When your Tata always says "Dodji Tati"
-You're 14 and some 50 year old guy is trying to pick up on you at the hall { ._ .}
-Your easter eggs are coloured brown
-You know you are a Serb when you're mom is running after you to put on a "podkusulja"
-..if you sit too close to the T.V., you'll get cancer
-Your parents buy peppers by the bushels
-When you've been called djubre at least once in your life
-A week after Slava, Bozic, and Easter you are still eating sarma {All sarma, all the time}
-Your majka is fond of saying "Tanks God"
-Cevapcici on the grill are better than steak any day
-All Middle Easterners are "Turci" {Just like anyone from Asia is a “Kinez}
-The word "Sramota!" will deter you from anything
-You cut up some onions and garlic and then decide what you will make for dinner.
-When you step on poop and your mom tells you that it's a sign of luck or money
-Drinking a cold glass of water will get you sick
-When your father threatens you with a papuca {/SOB}
-When your parents will only go to the doctor if they are passed out on the floor or have severed a limb
-When your parents tell you that the laws pertain only to North Amaericans and not them
-When you open gifts not to tear the wrapping so your baba can reuse the paper and bows
-Your parents always complain about how the "matematika" you're doing in school is too easy for kids your age
-Thinking there's no such thing as Santa Claus but believing St Nicholas will come to your house
-When your parents call you "sine" no matter if your a boy or a girl.
-When at least 3 of your cousins are Cro {HURR HURR, AGAIN, NO SHIT SHERLOCK /KILLED}
-When you are a eating at the kitchen table with your family and you get in trouble for talking.
-When you hang your clothes in the backyard on a clothes line even though you have a dryer...
-When your mama gives you vodka when your teething...
-When your tata is talking to you and every other word he calls you is budala...
-You go to church 2 times a year... Bozic and Uskrs
-Your Dad tells you "kad sam ja bio u tvoje godine...."
-When all guys balk at the idea of meeting you family, especially the male relatives
-When the baba grapevine travels faster than the national emergency alert system
-When your mum calls you "stoka
-You know you're Serbian when your mom has a whole pharmacy in the medicine cabinet.
-"No one has ever pronounced your last name right, and every kid on the block has a nickname for it" {OH GAWD THIS, THIIIIS}
-You know you are a Serb when you can hear your parents talking, and you are across the street.
-You hear the word "BATINE" and you cringe or go into convulsions
-You took a bath in a lavor when you were a kid.
-When you are told that you'll grow a tail if you drink coffee at a young age
-When your grandma says that farting is healthy.
-Whenever you went by Baba's house, she offered you supa, sarma, pecenje or kolace and got mad if you didn't eat EVERYTHING.
-When your parents constantly say you'll end up a nobody if you don't graduate from University
-You have a vegetable garden in your backyard consisting of a variety of peppers, onions and tomatoes.
-Your Tata complains da ga ledja BOLE!!!
-When your baba will not accept the fact that you're not hungry
-At your birthdays everyone is singing "Happy brzday tu u"
-Rakija is used to cure all illnesses, celebrate all occasions and as a massage lotion
-There's a slab of fat in your fridge called "slanina"
-On your birthday, your parents make you take a picture cutting the cake with a huge knife
-Your mom tells you not to sit on concrete or your ovaries are going to freeze
-You eat canned peppers and ajvar with every meal
-Your mother insists that you must eat something with "kasika" at least several times a week
-Your dad thinks that the phone is bugged
-Your uncle makes his own wine that is stronger than rakija
-If you are female, you first name ends in "A"
-You started to drink at the age of 12 {Pfffff, 12? YOUNGER. MUCH YOUNGER}
-A loaf of bread is eaten for lunch.
-The main menu for lunch is cabbage and beans.
-One of your relatives is a construction worker / painter
-When you make jokes based on your own tragedy
-You had to break off a tree branch from your back yard, so your dad could whoop your ass with it.
-You have the biggest sandwiches at school, always consisting of "prsut Or salami".
-Your mum makes her own bread and slices it with a BIG kitchen knife to a thickness of 5cm per slice.
-Both your parents had to walk to school barefoot in the snow, 5km uphill both ways. And over rocks.
-Before school every morning your parents had to look after the sheep, milk the cows, gather all hay, feed the animals etc.. {Pfffff, only mom. Dad was lazy.}
-You are prohibited from speaking English in you own home.
-You hear birds chirping and see the sun rise every time you come home from the bar {Every time I come home from near anywhere :I }
-There is more alcohol in your liquor cabinet than at the local bar
-There is a 120-gallon barrel of wine and Cabbage in your garage.
-You own a leather jacket. {I own MULTIPLE leather jackets B)}
-A cold shiver runs down your spine when your mom threatens by using the word "tata" in a sentence.
-Your father expects you to study or "hit da books" every waking hour that he's home, and he expects nothing less than an "A".
-Your dad never told you about the birds and the bees
-Your mom uses lard instead of Crisco to fry eggs.